Cola Bling's advice can pertain to any subject matter within reason. Cola may sometimes offer a style of tit for tat or fun commentary when called for. Strictly no nincompoops wanted. The only people to be reciprocared are those who want and need sound advice. A complementary prize is given to all chosen questions that feature on this website.
As a young black boy, my uncle has opened my mind to my history. Now I don’t know what he expects me to do with the information. I think he expects me to be the next great leader or something. To tell the truth my history has made be sad, bitter and resentful. I feel alienated and displaced, I feel disappointed that my history has made me feel worse than I did before I knew about the details. What do I do with all these negative feelings?
Young gentleman you should let the details of your ancestors enrich your mind and spirit. You shouldn’t let the negative details pull you down. The purpose for having the privilege to know your history is to activate the key to your own spirit, thus opening a positive chapter in your life. Knowledge is power and the greatest thing to do with power is to generate it into positive energy. The knowledge you now know should create a force within that allows you to fight for what is right, becoming a positive human being.
Knowing your history allows you to face the pressure and stresses that life can throw your way. The past is accessible for you to deal with the present more effectively. You are supposed to feel like a free spirit with endless possibilities and no barriers. Which life would you want to be living in, your ancestors, or yours given to you by them, the year 2007 with a future?
My girlfriend has not worn a bra for two years and the habit is getting embarrassing. We go to functions, shopping trips, out for a meal and no bra, basically everywhere we go. The only time she ever wears one is for sport.
It’s hard for me, my friends talk to her chest instead of her face. They don’t do it on purpose, but after five minutes into the conversation they tend to home into the zone.
My girlfriend says she is comfortable and “that bras were made for restrictive fashion and Vogue magazine.” My mum calls her slack because of her free flowing bouncing 34 DD chest and tells me to get a new girlfriend with dignity and class.
Is my mum being old fashioned or is she right?
I suppose what your mother is really trying to say, is that she sees your pain and is telling you to get rid. Lets face it your girlfriends free flow is causing you extra baggage that you clearly don’t need. In one hand you feel disrespected by your friends and in the other hand you feel betrayed by your girlfriends lack of sensitivity towards your feelings on the subjects. But life is short and love for your girlfriend wasn’t mentioned? I am right in assuming that you do not love this woman.
Maybe the solution is to dump your no wearing bra girlfriend and trade her in for one that does? Maybe the whole solution is in a whole new wardrobe, take her on a shopping spree to take away from the displaying of her free flowing decision? But to be totally honest I don't think you have a problem. To dump someone over their choice of wardrobe eludes me! Your girlfriend is obviously intelligent enough to engage your friends in a five minute conversation and she must be attractive in more ways then one.
My question to you is "Was your girfriend wearing a bra when you first met?"
Judging a man that has no degree is a bad thing to do, I know. But my father always told me to look for a professional man and if I didn’t, I shouldn’t even look his way for him to give me away at my wedding. My father is from Africa and I’ve always been daddy’s princess. I now want follow my heart, but can’t bear the thought of disappointing my father. Should I live for myself or is that being selfish?
If your father doesn’t respect the fact that you have chosen a man of substance over an educated man then he would be a fool. A degree does not make the man. It merely shows that he can study, see a course through to the end and on paper can solve solutions, problems, etc. These attributes do not guarantee the best ingredient for a great relationship. It sounds like you have a lot of feelings for this man as the attitudes of your father is beginning to worry you. My advice is to arrange a meeting with the two most important men in your life.
Try not to mention what your partner does, but more of who he is and what he is about, mention to your father what you like about this man. Hopefully during the meeting your father will see those same likeable qualities and by the end won’t care what he does for a living. The chemistry between you and your gentleman should melt his heart and tighten his jaw.
On the other hand if this solution does not work, you should prepare and awaken to the reality that this is your life for you alone to live. This is your right as a daughter and a human being to live life to the fullest of your potential. This may mean that your farther will not be a part of your future, but this will be his decision and not yours.
DOES SIZE COUNT?
Virgin man is what they all call me, but the reason why is that I don’t live up to the myth of the black mans natural heritage. I’m frightened girls might laugh at me and when I’m erect it only grows 2 inches bigger and is not that wide either. I have a girlfriend and really want to have sex.
Sex isn’t everything in a true and healthy relationship. Sex is not just about penetrative sex. If the chemistry is good between the both of you then your girlfriend shouldn’t notice, a touch alone from you should be hot like fire to her. What I do recommend is that you master the art of foreplay. This is what every women needs before sexual intercourse. A woman’s body is like a map that men need to explore. (Get my meaning). Exploration time should take at the very least 30 minutes.
Recently I’ve been feeling withdrawn and lately have been turning the women away. I’m a black man that don’t just have a black book I have eight black books fill up with numbers.
The other day one of my women curse me of and said that she’s loved me for two years and that she is not going to that any more. The swear words that came out of her mouth was shocking and I don’t know if that is down to me. Then another one of my woman curse me the other day as well. I don’t have any children for any of these women. My baby mother is in Spain with my two children. I don’t understand why these women want to give me grieve and I feel the control I had is slipping away. They make me feel like a gigolo, like some cold hearted man, I buy them dinner and gifts, I’m no cheap man.
I know how to treat woman or so I thought. Now I feel like I want to drop off the eight books and start again, Fresh, maybe keep it to two books. I am almost forty and know that time wait for no man, but I still feel young and the mirror don’t lie. Where am I going wrong?
If I were your mother I’d tell you that your home is in Spain with the mother of your two children. I dread to think why the mother of your children had to move to Spain . (Was it to be away from you, so that your children can’t be a witness to your activities and goings on) anyway, about your life may I suggest that you cease and settle, Mr almost forty something? I’d expect that kind of behaviour from an immature sixteen-year-old boy. No wonder your female lovers have had enough, two years on and still expected to stay on a string for your love. Your arrogance precedes you. Nonetheless there seems to be a little glimmer of hope for change in you character. You are a leopard that can change his spots. I believe the road has come to a close and your conscience has caught you up. Fortunately for you your looks are keeping up, so finish with your old life and start anew with a mobile phone and some decorum.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
Lately I’ve been feeling very tired, I take my vitamins and eat three meals a day. I never used to feel this way living at home. Could it be that I am at university and am now fending for myself or could my vegetarian friend be right in saying, I no longer have my mum to cook for me. As she says you are what you eat?
You should take note of what your friend is saying because it’s true. I remember when I no longer lived at home and my diet became as poor as a third world citizen. You need to look after yourself more than ever now because you are studying, you need brain food and nourishment. All the food that your mother cooked for you if you can I suggest you cook it. That’s right, I mean go to the market and get Yam, Plantain, fruit fresh fish, go to the butchers and get that cut of meet, season it and cook it up. May I also recommend a banana smoothy for you’re breakfast. Banana is a slow energy releasing fruit and it will set you in good speed for the day. Get yourself a hand blender from Argus page 446 autumn/winter 2003. It’s the greatest thing a full time student can get. Also I will recommend a better range of vitamin. Solgar vitamins V 2000, they are more expensive than other commercial brands and you can find them in reputable health shops. I recommend that you take “A multi-nutrient system for the 21st century,” the results are tremendously vivid and dazzling for your grey matter.
Fat Joe I’m definitely not. People can’t relate to me, or my big size. The thing is I’m ready to settle down and start a family but no girl will look at me for love or money. I want a girl to love me for me and the girls I like look like models, nice and fit with flat belly, thick thighs and reasonably sized on top. I’m funny and have been complemented on my personality. I fully own my house and two cars. But feel that because I’m not a superstar like the Fat Joe and Heavy D’s I stand little chance of getting the girl I want. I think I need to lose weight in order to her. Do I need to get a six pack in order to get the wife I want?
Big man, your personality maybe on form, but your self-esteem is shattered. For health reasons alone I would tell you to lose the weight. But to get the girl is another matter. It would be easier to advice you if you already had a girls interest and if the desire to lose weight was both your decision, because then you'd at least have support with a woman to aim towards. Sounds to me that you have been over weight most of your life, which means to shift it you will need professional help without breaking the bank or risking your health.
May I recommend Personal Trainer Paulo 07904-088-387 who is strict and dedicated. Good luck !!!!
TOO STONED TO SOCIALIZE?
My two close friends smoke weed regularly, and although I have tried It a few times, I do not. In the beginning I wasn’t bothered by this, but I am starting to hate the fact that they are always stoned we can’t have personal conversations with them as they don’t seem to listen. They say that smoking is not harmful when compared to alcohol and other drugs, but I can see it having a major effect on our friendship.
They don’t see themselves in the same category as heroine or crack users. Should I go my separate way and let my friends carry on with their lives?
While it is true that cannabis is not dangerous is not dangerous when compared to Heroine and Crack, it’s nevertheless not without its problems and its use is still illegal. The use of habitual use diminishes sex drive, memory loss and intellectual damage. Hence the fact they why they can’t have a personal conversation with you, they’ve got the anti-intellectual virus. The decision to dump your friends and move on has to be your own choice. You could try one last attempt, which would be to start your own campaign and visit your local medical centre and leaflet your friend’s home with the appropriate information.
When you’re in a good mood, bring up the past.
When you’re in a bad mood, stick to the present.
And when you’re not feeling emotional at all. It’s time to talk about future.
Several months ago I didn’t get my promotion at work and lately I’ve been oversleeping (Getting into work late, which makes me look like a poor loser) But when I wake up I’m still fatigued, I’ve been eating loads and gained two stone. I used to be out every weekend, now I Can’t be bothered (Non of my clothes fit me and by bottom looks flabby) and I feel worthless. Am I clinically depressed?
You are most certainly not having bad days. Clinical depression is a whole body illness, which is distinguished by its severity, intensity and the length of time it lasts. It determines the kind of mood you’re in, what you think and how you act. You have a lot of negative symptoms and I think that you should visit your local medical centre so they can refer you to a reputable counsellor. Can I ask that from this moment you are to remember that you are a child of God, start to give yourself credit for what you are able to do. Okay this promotion didn’t happen, but you’ll prove your worth next time around. You are worthy. God has something better in store for you than to feel down and depressed.
Does marriage give my husband a licence to demand sex anytime, any place he wants it, regardless of my wants and feelings.
No man or husband for that matter has the right to demand sex from his wife. That used to be the case in the Stone Age when prehistoric man permitted it. Now, today there are laws and if a husband forces his wife it is considered as rape. Some women feel that when they are married, they don’t have the option of saying no. Without that option it makes sex stale. There’s no excitement and no fun.
She cheats and has given me S.T.D on numerous occasions. I feel like a fool but can’t stop loving this woman. She’s exciting, funny, bright and clever. She’s everything I want in a woman. I can’t tell anyone because I’m ashamed of being so weak. The sex is mind blowing, she’s been my teacher. Our conversations are great. You get the picture, the puzzle is why is she so promiscuous?
The picture is sooo clear and I can’t understand why you’re still in this movie? STD ’S, my brother wake up and smell the funky smells, feel the humiliation of stepping inside the health clinic every time because of this woman. Where is your self-respect, self-love, and self-worth. I have no sympathy, they say love is blind but has she numbed all your other senses as well. Love has nothing to do with it when your partner has no respect for self or you in a relationship. Do I need to remind you that a STD today can mean death, or near to death by contracting HIV or full blown AIDS. Is that the STD that you are waiting for her to give to you? You sound like a decent man. Your love and patience can be better spent on a woman who deserves it. Get out of this relationship now, you don’t need no long speech, just run as far away as you can!
What do you do about your boyfriend who is jealous of the past?
My boyfriend and I have been going out for thirteen months. I am 28 and he is the same. He has told me that he is not bothered by my many former intimate relationships. But he always wants to discuss my past and every time we do, we end up in unpleasant arguments. I’m really getting sick to death of the reoccurring scene. I’m beginning to think that he is not the strong black man that he made out to be, he’s acting like a simpleton at the moment and I’m going of him big style. What can I do to get our relationship back on course?
Few men, if any, are crazy about the idea that their girlfriends or wives having a life before they met. I’m sure if they could purchase a fresh new (you know what?) every time they met a girl they liked, they would. But unfortunately for them, life doesn’t work that way. But all is not lost, most men are smart and mature enough to leave the past alone and concentrate on the present and future. Your boyfriend lacks both, smarts and maturity. He is bothered about the past because he is insecure and worries that he may not measure up in one way or another if compared with men from your past. His jealousy is likely to continue and get worse, until he grows up to a point where he can see himself as others see him-an insecure, immature lickle bwoy. The decision is completely yours if you wish to invest more time into this spoiled beyond recognition, so called relationship. But black woman I have to add that telling him about your past lovers was not the smartest thing you ever did.